Story of Us
by Po' PoCHi
Summary: sendoh had finally dragged rukawa out from the sorrows from his heart... but sendoh knew his life is coming to an end...[added a little song in d end ^__^;;]
1. rematch! ryonan vs. shohoku!

--part 1—  
  
Rematch! Ryonan vs. Shohoku!  
  
   
  
It's 4 pm in the afternoon. The sky was turning to deep shade of salmon. The sun was setting on the edge of the horizon while students emptied the school. "Oi, Hanamichi! Coming to practice?" Ryota ran towards him from the end of the hallway. The redhead looked at him over his shoulder.  
  
"What are you talking about, Miyagi? I'm a tensai! Tensai never takes a day off! Well, if I did, it wouldn't affect my skills coz I'm a tensai! Mwahahahaha!"  
  
Miyagi sighed. "Well, I'm just asking to go to the gym together, not asking you to brag about yourself."  
  
"Mwahahahahaha! Oi, Miyagi, the tensai knows everything! Bwahahahaha!!" Hanamichi put his arm across the shorter one's shoulders and patted his head. Then they both walked together to the gym with making a hell lot of noise.  
  
"Morons." Rukawa was there all the time, walking behind them with his Nike sports bag and his shoes in his hand.  
  
          "Oioioi, minna! Hurry up! We got important training to do before the game coming up!" Ayako shouted to them from the edge of the gym's court. It is true that they have a game coming up in 4 days. A game against Ryonan High school. The team had beaten them and now Shohoku High can't accept losing anymore. They have to win.  
  
"What's up with Ayako today? She's so bossy and orders us around!" Sakuragi whispered to Miyagi while they run around the court for warm ups.  
  
"I don't know…Maybe she got PMS."  
  
BONK! Both Hanamichi and Miyagi's head was hit by Ayako's usual weapon, the folded paper-fan. "I heard that…" Her face was red and was ready to explode. Both of their faces turned blue in fear.  
  
"Aya-chan…"  
  
A game against Ryonan high. This is what Rukawa had been waiting for. On his last competition with them, the Shohoku High had lost just 1 point against them. Now is their chance to bring back their pride. I believe each members of the basketball here is waiting for the moment to come. And maybe I can meet that Sendoh again. Now let's see who's better…  
  
   
  
"Akira, are you still in the team?"  
  
"Yes, mother…"  
  
His mother looked down and sighed deeply. "Akira, I'm suggesting that you quit. You have a serious health problem, my son. According to the doctor, your heart is in serious period right now. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings but.. If you keep on playing in the team, sooner or later… you'll…you'll…"  
  
Sendoh smiled and held her soft hand. "Kaasan… If this were to be the last days of my life, I would spend it in basketball. That's all I've ever dreamt, Kaasan… You know I have been wishing to be a good basketball player and win trophies and everything!" He looked deep into her dark brown eyes, showing more than what he had said.  
  
"Akira… I don't want to lose you…Just like I've lost Tousan…" Tears filled the edge of her eyes. She remembered her husband, dying while playing baseball in the J major league tournament. He had been just the same like him, wanting to be the best baseball player of all time since he was dating her. But he got serious heart problem, one that will risk his own life. "Did you remember, Akira, when you were 5 years old?"  
  
"Tousan…?"  
  
She nodded. Tears fell down and rolled her wrinkled cheeks. "He was playing in the Japanese Major League Tournament, an event that he's been dreaming. Our doctor had already told him not to play, but he's just the same like you, Akira, he wished to be the best pitcher even though it can cost his own life. And there he was, ready to pitch, and just about then…"She can barely continue to talk. Sendoh grabbed a tissue paper and smothered his mother's wet cheek. "He was… he was kind and energetic, happy- go-lucky, like you… just like you…"  
  
"Kaasan… I understood but please. Just let me finish the upcoming game with Shohoku high… Onegai, Kaasan…" Sendoh pleaded softly while wiping his mother's teardrops. "I promise… that after that, I'll quit basketball."  
  
She looked up and smiled, but then looked away and shook her head. "Akira… you're dying…"  
  
Sendoh smiled and closed his eyes. He tightened his grip and sighed. I'm… dying… He had to face the fact. A fact that'll drive his sanity out of him. He didn't want to cry in front of his mother. It'll make her become sadder. He wanted to act tough in front of her, so that she won't have to shed her teardrops anymore.  
  
   
  
   
  
It is just 2 more days till the game. Rukawa walked down the vacant road while listening to his Discman. It was a tiring day at school today, even at the basketball practice. "Oi there!" Rukawa turned to see who was calling him. "I believe you are that Rukawa Kaede from Shohoku, right?"  
  
Sendoh Akira…What is he doing here? Rukawa took off his headphones and tucked it in his pocket. He nodded. "Sendoh Akira…"  
  
"Hai, that's me! Ooh…. You look pretty much exhausted. Basketball practice today?" Sendoh was dressed in a white shirt and a blue jumper and long cotton trouser. A bag was hanging on his right shoulder.  
  
"Yeah… Sort of…" Rukawa replied in a monotone voice, showing no intention of being asked.  
  
"Hey, I know a good drinking place. Let's go there and of course, if you don't mind, though…" Sendoh pointed his finger to the direction of his back, "I'll pay…" Rukawa shrugged and walked beside him downtown.  
  
  
  
a.n : the intro sucked didn't it? ( 


	2. reason to quit

--part 2—  
  
Reason to quit  
  
"2 days till the game, huh?" Sendoh took a sip of his ice lemon tea. Rukawa nodded. He stirred his coke with the straw and watched the little bubbles dance inside the dark brown liquid. "And also… 2 more days until I quit basketball."  
  
The sentence stung his mind. He looked up, surprised. How can a person like Sendoh who's devoted to basketball quit? What's in his head?  
  
"…why?"  
  
"…I don't want to play anymore." He answered after a long pause of hesitation. He was scared that Rukawa could caught him lying to him so he looked down and threw his face away from Rukawa's deep stare. Should he tell the whole truth? He shouldn't have said those. It's not unusual to find it surprising. I'm… I'm dying…  
  
"…why?"  
  
"I just don't feel like it…" Rukawa was disappointed. A man who he thinks that deserved to be challenged was quitting. Without Sendoh, there would be a vacant spot in his basketball life. He then continued stirring the beverage. "You… don't want me to quit?" Sendoh asked softly, muttering under his breath.  
  
Another sentence flashed through his head. Rukawa went silent, thinking about what he should reply. Yes or no? Or just shut up? The Shohoku High's small forward player admitted that he has some strange feelings toward his opponent who's now sitting in front of him. "Betsuni.."  
  
Sendoh smiled. "I must. But I will play on the upcoming game. It will be my last." Hopefully…  
  
Rukawa was now lost. He didn't know what to do, or what to say. Sendoh… Sendoh Akira was quitting. He had just realized that he was devoting basketball just for him, just to be stronger than him. He had longed for a match between Ryonan and Shohoku so much, just to see him and to play against him. He looked up and looked into Sendoh's eyes. His glow were now different. It was hard and straight this time, but somehow it looked sad too. "Then, I'll make it your best…"  
  
Sendoh smiled and bowed. "Arigatou. Let's go home… it's getting very late." He paid the bills in at the cashier and exit the café. Rukawa followed him and walked home together. "I'll walk you home."  
  
As soon as the two reached Kaede's residence, Rukawa took a key from his pocket and opened the lock of the house's gate. He pushed it open and he looked at Sendoh. It made a screeching voice that was unpleasant to be heard. "… Do you… Want to go in?" His voice was soft and could barely be heard under the sound of the hard blowing wind.  
  
"Aa… No I wouldn't want to disturb your family. It's going to rain and I must go home quick, anyway…" He felt that soft raindrops ran on the back of his palm. "Kusso. It's already rainin'…." Not long after that heavy raindrops started to fall over them. Rukawa rushed to the house with his arms over his head. Sendoh followed him and inhaled deeply. "I guess I didn't have any other options…" He leaned against the entrance door and sighed. Rukawa stood facing him, standing silent. "Parents home…?"  
  
"They're in Italy…"  
  
"Aah… Since when? Then are you all by yourself in this big house ever since they left?"  
  
"Yeah…"  
  
"You don't have any… brothers or sisters do you?"  
  
Rukawa didn't answer for a while. His eyes rolled to his side and he slided forward towards the door. "Excuse me…"  
  
Sendoh moved out of the way and let Rukawa enter into the living room. It was decorated neatly and somehow, it felt cozy and warm. "Nice…" Sendoh looked around the room and studied every piece of furniture or decorations.  
  
Rukawa took off his jacket and his shoes and carried them to his room. He turned the heater on so it would warm up the house from the cold temperature of the hard rain. Sendoh was still in the living room, looking up and down, examining it with excitement. Something caught his eyes from the corner was a framed photograph of the family, the Rukawa family. There, Rukawa was still little, he was quite chubby and a bit puffy. His hair was styled neatly, combed to the back.  
  
"Aah! Kawaii~!"  
  
"Huh?!" Rukawa turned towards his direction. "Aah! Kusso!" He rushed towards him and took the frame harshly from his grasp. He put it faced down on the top of the decoration shelves. "You're not supposed to see that…" He blushed a little.  
  
"Ne, Kaede-kun… You look adorable in that picture… Got anymore of those? Perhaps… photo albums or something?"  
  
Rukawa glared at him. "Yes I do but I won't let you see them."  
  
Sendoh's cheerful smile faded. "Fine then, as you wished…" He walked around the slippery marble of the house's floor and looked around. He was fascinated of the house's way of decorating rooms until he reached the kitchen. It was… what people call… absolutely messed up. He was puzzled. What makes the kitchen so messy? It was dirty and the cooking utensils were everywhere, and some was used.  
  
"….It was… Me who did it…" Rukawa looked down, feeling a little bit shamed. "I tried to cook but these are the result..."  
  
Sendoh looked at his face. It was different than usual. A little bit soft and pinkish. The way his eyes look wasn't as the same as usual, not sharp and icy like the way he was, but soft and gentle. The flickers of light in his eyes were dancing with glee. Probably because of blushing. He's cute… "I can help you cook for a while. Just until your parents get back. I can stay over at your house and help you clean up and wash dishes and… Yeah… the chores…" If I would be around until your parents get back though, Kaede- kun…  
  
"Thanks but I can do it on my own…" He entered his room and left Sendoh standing outside, leaning against the wall. Sendoh valued the Shohoku ace's privacy. "You can enter…now…"At last a voice came from inside.  
  
"Hai." Sendoh opened the door and walked into the room. It was quite big. Posters of Michael Jordan and other basketball players were pinned on the walls beside his bed. The floor was layered with carpet, indigo tinted carpets. Nice carpets that has thick furs and nice color. There's a TV in the corner and also a PC right beside it. Pillows and comfortable chairs and small couches were in the middle. The room was nice. "Wow… you got yourself some personal PC and Television… Nice…Do you have Internet? I want to check my email…" He walked over to the PC and sat on the chair.  
  
"Yeah…" Rukawa answered softly, not looking towards Sendoh.  
  
Before he went on to open his Yahoo! Mail website, he opened the file where pictures were kept. He was curious about what kinds of things he would save in his PC. There were two more folders inside the pictures file. One was titled 'basketball', and 'others'. He clicked on the basketball folders first. There were pictures of Chicago bulls player, most of them were Michael Jordan, though. He hit the back button and opened the others file, curious over what kind of pictures he put in here.  
  
"Aaaaaa..!" Sendoh jumped back and fell to the floor with the chair. His face was total red.  
  
"What's the matter?" The dark haired boy from the bathroom rushed out. He was already topless, getting ready to dip himself into the nice warm bath. He looked at Sendoh who fell down on his head and then he looked at the computer screen. "What?"  
  
"Kaede-kun! You keep these pictures in your computer?! Are you crazy?" He dusted his hot and red face. His fingers were pointed at the computer screen just above his head. He calmed down a little when he looked at Rukawa, impressed of his masculine figure.  
  
"Nani..? You don't look at those kinds of stuff?"  
  
"Aa… It's not that…!! As a matter of fact I am a boy also and… but!! Keeping these in your PC? What if your parents find them?"  
  
"What are you talking about? That's why it is here… It's only for me to use… Not my parents…" He sighed. He thought it was something more than this stupidity that happened. He continued undressing himself. He pulled his parachute trousers down and throw them inside the bathroom.  
  
"Why are you looking at me?!" Rukawa stepped in quickly and slammed the door. He blushed. Sendoh's way of looking… His eyes… It tells me that he's interested in something… The way his eyes were mesmerized at him shows something.  
  
"Gomen nasai~!! I will go home shortly after I shut down the computer! Sorry to bother you!! Gomen nasai!!" Sendoh was furious, he realized that he was acting like a clown and had made Rukawa a little bit annoyed and disturbed.  
  
"In this kind of rain?" Rukawa answered from inside. "You'll catch cold.." He stepped into the warm bath and rested his head on the edge of the tub. "I don't mind you stay…"  
  
Sendoh took a deep breath and held it for a moment. "Kaede-kun, I think I better be going… Thanks for the offer." He paused and stood up, heading towards the exit of his bedroom. "I'm leaving… Bye and thanks for every—"  
  
Sendoh fell to his knees. Kusso… I can't… breathe! He gasped for air and choked. Pain stung his heart. He felt a huge pressure squeezing his chest, making him feel like he wanted to cry. It hurts so bad, he couldn't even held the pain back. "Shit…" 


	3. the face beneath my mask

--Part 3--  
  
The face under my mask  
  
There was total silence, Rukawa stopped his motions and listened quietly. There was something that is absolutely wrong. Sendoh's sentence was interrupted by something, and yet he hadn't heard a single word coming out from him. Rukawa was suspicious of things that occurred in his room. He stepped out of the bath and grabbed his violet towel and tied it around his naked waist.  
  
He twisted the doorknob and stepped onto the cold carpet. Then his eyes snapped wide when he found Sendoh's limp body lying before him, beads of cold sweats filling his face. "Sendoh?" Stealing his nerves he walked slowly towards the Ryonan ace and bent down, hands over Sendoh's back. He shook him gently, trying to wake him up, but there was no response. Panicked, he quickly put Sendoh's arms around his neck and escorted him onto the bed.  
  
What should I do? What should I do? What should I do?  
  
First he decided to call ambulance.  
  
No! It will take about half an hour from the house to the nearest hospital! There must be something that I can do!  
  
Rukawa stood beside the bed, confused of what he should do. His hand had turned into a fist, sweats running down his forehead.  
  
Aho! Don't just stand there and stare at him! He can be dying! Do something!  
  
The voice in his mind rang in his head. Immediately he rushed to the kitchen, grabbed a plastic fiber bowl and put cold water in it. From his closet he pulled out a small-sized fluffy towel. Carefully he bathed the towel into the bowl and squeezed some water out, and placed it on Sendoh's forehead, wiping the wetness away from his face.  
  
This guy better have some cute explanation, or else  
  
Suddenly Sendoh's eyelids were lifted up. His lips were parted as if he wanted to speak a word or so. Then dark eyes rolled aside and looked at Rukawa Kaede, who was kneeling beside him, holding a soaked-wet towel in his hands, butt naked.  
  
"Kaede-kun!"  
  
Rukawa was relieved to find that he can still say out his name. He sighed, closed his eyes and drew back a bit.  
  
"Did I fell asleep?"  
  
Haha…  
  
Rukawa only shrugged. He expected a good explanation for why he had fainted. Sendoh's eyes trailed over him from the top of his wet hair onto his foot. He blushed and smiled like a dork.  
  
What?!  
  
"Gomen nasai, Kaede-kun! I must have troubled you! You're still not properly dressed…" His voice became softer until it fade on the last inch of the sentence. Then his eyes spotted a fiber bowl and a towel. Sendoh simply smiled and his eyes grew softer.  
  
"Arigato, Kaede-kun… You've done so much…"  
  
Rukawa blushed at the sight of Sendoh's gentle smile. He looked down onto the carpet. "I was just panicked… that's all…"  
  
Sendoh's smile grew wider and he patted Rukawa's wet hair.  
  
Rukawa threw his flushed face away and stood up. "What was that all about? You better got some explanation, Sendoh Akira…" Meanwhile he stepped back into the bathroom, threw away the not-so-used water in the tub and dressed himself.  
  
On the other hand, in the room, the spiked-hair boy grabbed the fabric of his shirt on his chest and winced in pain. Darn… what was that? God… Did my life just go shorter? Really… What will I say to Kaede? The truth?  
  
Rukawa stepped out of the bathroom and turned its lights off. He pulled the chair from the computer and sat on it, facing Sendoh, who was still half- lying on the bed. "So… What?"  
  
Sendoh forced to smile, trying to ease the worries off Rukawa. "Aah… It was… nothing… You know the usual stuff, asthma… I got that since I'm studying in elementary school. But Mom said that it would be ok sooner or later."  
  
Rukawa let out a heavy breath and crossed his arms. He knew it was something worse than that. He knew that Sendoh's only making up an excuse. "Did that got something to do with your basketball retirement?"  
  
Sendoh quickly tilted his face up and stared at him. "Pardon me, Kaede- kun?"  
  
He shook his head and brushed the wet bangs off his forehead, letting a clearer glimpse of his actual gorgeous face. Kaede… You are good-looking… If only you smile more often. Sendoh looked around the room, trying to find an object to change the subject of their conversation. Then on the shelves just beside his bed, he spotted a cell phone, inactive, laying there. It looks like he hadn't used it for a long time. "Ne, Kaede-kun…" He grabbed the cell phone and looked at it in every single angle. "You got a cell phone, huh? I never knew… Why don't you use it?"  
  
Rukawa's eyes turned soft and sad. He looked down onto his toe. "If I use it, who will I be calling anyway?" Sendoh's eyes turned wide. He forgot. He always knew Rukawa Kaede of Shohoku High was a loner, never hang out with anybody, and truly devotes his life into basketball. He shouldn't ask him that question, for he knows it will cut his heart deep. "Gomen, Kaede-kun… I shouldn't ask—" The next thing he knew was that Rukawa's arm was curled up covering his head, and he heard sobs coming from him. "Kaede!"  
  
How long should I hide myself from the world?  
  
How long should I keep on hiding behind a mask…  
  
How long should I cry to myself in the nights…  
  
"Kaede! I'm truly sorry…!" He rushed over and placed his arms around Rukawa's shoulders, pulling his head onto his chest. "I didn't mean to hurt you…"  
  
"Tell me…"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Who am I?"  
  
Sendoh took a deep breath before answering Rukawa's questions. "You are Rukawa Kaede, Shohoku's ace… Studying in year one of Shohoku high school…" He paused to think. "Famous among girls, good-looking… ice-cold… and…"  
  
"…A loner…" Rukawa finished his sentences.  
  
There was silence between the two lads. One was bothered to speak, afraid that the other would be hurt deeper. One was busy crying over his miserable fate.  
  
"Rukawa Kaede… Prince of Ice… Shohoku Ace… Super rookie… They don't even know who I really am…"  
  
"Those girls… They're not falling for me… They're only falling for the mask that I wore during daylights…"  
  
Sendoh was silent; listening carefully to the voice of the younger's heart.  
  
"I cried myself to sleep, crying over my life, my pathetic poor life… Crying for myself who had been left by parents since I was a kid…"  
  
Since a kid? Kaede, you…  
  
"Who am I anyway? I lost my identities. Rukawa Kaede… Rukawa? Am I still a member of my family? I don't think so…"  
  
"Kaede-kun… sshh…" Sendoh gently rocked Rukawa so that he would be silent and calmed down.  
  
"I'm lost…"  
  
"Kaede…"  
  
"I'm scared… That's why I turned my backs against the society, that's why I've treated people so coldly. I'm afraid to love and I'm scared that I'll be hurt by the person I loved..."  
  
So this is why… All the time he had acted so cold, so ignorant… There was a reason behind his back. He was hurt, and is afraid to get hurt once more. Rukawa Kaede…  
  
Sendoh immediately hugged Rukawa gently. "Kaede-kun… You got to get over it… Be brave… Be strong…" Rukawa was crying over his broad shoulder, like a child, crying onto his long-lost brother.  
  
"Sendoh Akira… You're the first one to see me cry… And you're the first that had make me feel comfortable… Ne, Sendoh… You won't leave me, will you?" His voice was trembling.  
  
Kaede-kun… If only you know… I would love to be with you there till eternity, but I… I'm dying…  
  
"No, I won't Kaede-kun…" He promised the unpromisable. He shouldn't had promised to him. He would be hurt deeply if when the time had come for me to leave. "I won't…"  
  
Rukawa, still leaning against Sendoh's masculine chest, smile simply. "Arigatou…"  
  
And then the two basketball players spent the remaining of the cold, rainy autumn nights in each other's arms, sharing sorrow together. 


	4. daybreak

--part 4--  
  
1 Daybreak  
  
"Oioioi minna! You better get spunky! Practice hard! Tomorrow's the match we've been longing for!" Ayako waved her paper fan in the air, encouraging the members of the club to squeeze their sweats out. "We're going to win, aren't we?!"  
  
"Yeahh!!" Everybody cheered out loud. They're full of spirit, full of energy and motivation. They had worked so hard on the upcoming game. Ayako's attention turned to Rukawa who was sitting on the corner of the gym, his chin upon his knee, and arms around his leg. He hadn't participated in the practice yet and he's looking so down today. Wonder what's been bothering him. Ayako walked over towards him.  
  
"Rukawa-kun? Are you okay?"  
  
There was no response. He didn't even move a single bit. "Rukawa Kaede?" Ayako took a step forward, fear haunted her mind. She placed her hand gently on his shoulder and rocked it gently. "Rukawa-kun?"  
  
Then after Ayako took her hand off, Rukawa's head fell to her feet, and he was drooling and snoring. Okay, so he wasn't silent because of his bad mood, but he was just sleeping. On the other hand, Ayako's anger was pushed up onto her forehead, and was ready to explode. "RUKAWA KAEDE! This is not the time for sleeping!" She gripped her paper fan tightly and hit him hard a millions of times with it.  
  
"Huh?" Still drooling, he lifted his bruised face off the ground and blinked hard. "Did I just oversleep?"  
  
"Baka!!!!!!!" Akagi's hard-clenched fist flew to Rukawa's head. "Tomorrow's the match, and you're sleeping?!"  
  
On the other side of the gym, Sakuragi Hanamichi was standing there, laughing over Rukawa's foolishness. "Hehehehe… Gori, you better get Rukawa on the bench tomorrow and let me do the one-man show!!! Ore wa tensai! And I will show it to the world!!!" He said it out loud in full spirit and enthusiasm.  
  
"In your dreams…" Said Mitsui who was just passing by.  
  
"We need Rukawa, not you," added Miyagi who was dribbling the ball.  
  
I forgot… Tomorrow's the match… Man… I didn't sleep well last night… I better warm myself up and practice hard.  
  
Rukawa stood up and ran into the middle of the court and practiced with the rest of the members.  
  
Rukawa threw himself to the bed after he had taken his evening bath. He stared at the ceiling blankly, lost in thought, and feeling quite happy. He had found a person who's worth to be called 'friend'. A person who he can pour his emotions to. He was happy to found him, Sendoh Akira. The night that they had spent together in each other's arms was a memory that he couldn't possibly erase. It could be said as Rukawa's happiest day of his life. He had never felt so pleased before, not until he had found Sendoh Akira.  
  
Tomorrow's the match of Shohoku against Ryonan, and what bothers most is that it's Sendoh's last day on court, last day on basketball. Why did he ever choose to retire? A person like him who was truly devoted to basketball couldn't possibly quit without a reason of saying: bored. There must be a reason. Rukawa was deep in thought, he forgot about the time.  
  
Sendoh Akira… Wonder what's keeping him away from basketball? Could it be that sappy asthma? Nah… He wouldn't just give up because of a lousy asthmatic problem. Or… Could it be a bad health condition? Rukawa always knew that the asthma thing he had mention was false. It was a fake excuse. It is possible that he IS suffering from a bad health condition? Rukawa shook his head, trying to throw the fact away. It's not possible! That happy-go-lucky Sendoh Akira? Bad health condition? Absolutely not!  
  
Rukawa turned to look at the time. "Damn! It's 11 pm already! I haven't make Yoko-sensei's assignment!" He rushed towards his study desk and pulled out math textbook and makes his homework.  
  
  
  
The time had come. The Ryonans are already here. "Rukawa-kun! What happened?!" Kogure pointed his fingers towards Rukawa's eyes, were circled by dark shades, cause of lack of sleeping.  
  
"Oh… I didn't get enough sleep last night… I barely finish my homework…" Everybody was silent, except for Hanamichi who was laughing out loud.  
  
"AAAAAAAAahahaha! Poor you Rukawa! That was a lame excuse! You can't sleep because you're thinking of how good I'll be playing at the match, didn't you?!" He continued to burst out laughter. Everybody was staring at him with blank eyes and huge sweat drops on their heads.  
  
"That cheeky guy…" Akagi was ready to hit him hard on the head.  
  
"Minna? Ready for the game?" Ayako entered the locker room, her hair tied back, wearing the Shohoku basketball club jumper and dark blue spandex shorts.  
  
Meanwhile, Ryota who was half naked was blushing at Ayako's existence. "I never knew Aya-chan was so perverted, peeking a man changing his clothes."  
  
Not long after that Miyagi was bleeding to death, beaten up hard by Ayako's paper fan. "Serves you right!!!!!"  
  
Miyagi slumped on the floor with his bloody face, crying. "Aya-chaaann…"  
  
The game's about to start, the gym's filled with supporters from both Shohoku and Ryonan. They all had expected it to be a great game. Rukawa fanclub was already lined up, dressed in their uniform, holding 2 puffy pom poms. They were full of spirit and ready to cheer for their dream man, Rukawa Kaede, Shohoku's ace.  
  
"Listen, guys. Today's the day, the match we've long for. We've lost to them by only 1 point last time, and today we'll surely win. Got that?!" Akagi stood in front of everybody in the locker room. Everybody cheered and dressed in their jerseys. 


	5. the time has come

--part 5—  
  
1 The time has come  
  
"Sendoh… Are you sure you're okay, cause you've been missing a few practices." Uozumi looked at the spiked-hair boy, his eyes full of concern. Sendoh only nodded and smiled, like the way he used to react. The captain nodded back in return, assured of Sendoh's words.  
  
"Sendoh Akira, I want you to be a full-time player today. Don't fool with them, we barely escaped last time, don't take them foolishly. Show your true ability, Sendoh, and then I'm sure we'll win." Coach Taoka who was sitting on the bench with his arms crossed and his eyes staring straight sharp was a little bit worried of winning on today's match.  
  
"That's true, Sempai! We're only up to them by 1 point last time! And that was only when they got Rukawa, Akagi and Hanamichi. Now they got Miyagi-san and Mitsui-san! We don't know how good they'll be!" Hikoichi, in a plain white t shirt jumped out of nowhere into their presence. "Anyway, do your best, Sendoh-san!"  
  
Sendoh only smiled and stretched out his hands. He was worried deep inside. I'm not confident with my health right now… Will I be doing just fine? I hope I can make the game, my last game.  
  
The five minutes break before the game began had ended. The sound of the bell echoed through the gym, and soon after that both teams come in lines into the court. Cheers of the crowd greeted them, and the Rukawa fanclub shouted their own cheers to greet their dream man.  
  
"Haaa… Look at how the audience loved the Tensai!" Drooling, Sakuragi Hanamichi looked around to find the slim figure of Haruko, Akagi's sister. His face were burnt red when he saw her waving her hands in the air for him. "Haruko-san…" he whispered to himself.  
  
"Aho…" Rukawa muttered under his breath and opened his Shohoku jumpers, and put them in his bag. His eyes rolled from the side of the gym to the other, trying to find Ryonan's ace, Sendoh Akira. "Sendoh…"  
  
From the end of Ryonan's bench, Sendoh smiled, but eyes were sharp, as if he had forgotten of the night when both had spent their night in each other's arms, sharing their grief. Rukawa's lips frowned, he was disappointed. Did he forget already? Didn't that night meant something to him?  
  
"Rukawa…" Akagi placed his hand on Rukawa's right shoulder. "Are you sure you're really okay?"  
  
Rukawa only nodded in reply, then his eyes were focused back on Sendoh who was all dressed in his school's jersey. He studied his figure, and the expressions of his face, the movement of his muscles. He looked fine to him, fine and healthy. I think he's not sick. He can't be… He just didn't look or act like he had some health problems. But that didn't assure Rukawa just yet.  
  
The team lined in the middle of the court, and both of the team's captains shook hands. The referee had the whistle in his mouth, a ball in one hand and the other rose up in the air. Akagi and Uozumi was positioned, ready to jump as high as they could and reach the ball. Then as the ball was thrown high, the two giants jumped, but fortunately Akagi slapped the ball towards Mitsui.  
  
Ball in his hands, Mitsui dribbled it smoothly towards the goal, eluding guards of some players, but then Koshino blocked his way. Knowing that he should do something, he saw Miyagi at a distance, vacant and unguarded. Without waiting or thinking any further he passed the ball and it landed on Miyagi's hands. "Nice pass, Mitsui-san!" Miyagi smiled, made his way to the inside and escorted the ball to the hoops. It went straight in, and Shohoku got the first two points of the game.  
  
"Nice, Ryota!" Ayako cheered from the bench, beside Anzai-sensei. Miyagi blushed deeply and formed a v with his fingers.  
  
"Aya-chan…"  
  
The game went on, then during the last 4 minutes of 1st half; the score between Shohoku and Ryonan were 30-37 with Ryonan on the lead. Most of them were from Sendoh, though.  
  
"That Sendoh sure is fast and sharp-skilled! We even can't get Rukawa to hold him back!" Kogure was amazed of Sendoh's play today, though he knew it wasn't all of him.  
  
"It's not that, I think Rukawa's been bothered with something. He wasn't as fast and strong as usual. He didn't even score more than 10, like the way he used to." Ayako replied. She knew that something is up in Rukawa's mind. Of course, she's been with him all the time since Junior High. He's like a little brother to her.  
  
"Sou… Ayako-san is right…" Anzai agreed with Ayako. He also noticed Rukawa's play. It was different. "I'm going to remove him soon, Kogure-kun, warm yourself up." ogure nodded and took off his shirt. He went to the back of the bench to stretch and jog a little. 


	6. smile for me

--part 6—  
  
1 Smile for me  
  
Koshino, who had been holding the ball, stopped at the three-point line and shoot. "Oh no you don't!" Mitsui jumped and tagged the ball with his fingers. He barely touched it. If he was a second late, it would go through the ring.  
  
"Rebound!" Koshino shouted from the outside. Uozumi and Akagi struggled in their position, to get the rebound. Then Sakuragi, from Rukawa's back, jumped up high and grabbed the ball, but he landed on Uozumi's back.  
  
"Aa!! Not again!" Sakuragi shut his eyes, knowing that he would get a foul this time. He felt his heartbreak when he heard the referee blew the whistle (haha ^_^;).  
  
"Offense Charging! White number ten!" The referee cried. Uozumi was given two shots, and Rukawa was removed.  
  
"Ganbatte, Uozumi-sempai!" Hikoichi shouted behind Coach Taoka, making him feel like deaf. He shoot and the ball went in smoothly, but not on the second, though. It missed the hoops and then Sendoh rushed to grab it. "Sendoh-san!!!!!! Nice rebound!"  
  
Sendoh dribbled to the outside to avoid Kogure, and then he eluded from him easily after making a faint. He ran as fast as he could to the inside and he was ready to do some particular dunk but he felt heaves of pain shot towards his heart.  
  
And then he fell, panting for air on the wooden floor of Shohoku's gym. "Referee time!" The referee shouted. Then crowds gathered around them. Hikoichi rushed towards the crowd to see what had happened to Sendoh, the senior he admired most.  
  
Rukawa felt his eyes go blank. Bad health condition? Sendoh? No! The Shohoku ace threw the white towel that had been soaked wet by his sweat from his head to the ground and ran to the court, leaving the rest of Shohoku members surprised. Rukawa? Concerned about something? It's like a miracle or something! He followed Hikoichi who was carrying him to the locker room.  
  
Heart thumping hard, Rukawa felt uneasiness surrounding him as he see Sendoh's face, aching in pain. So many questions he wanted to ask, yet so scared he was to speak a word. After Hikoichi had laid him on the icy floor of the locker room, Sendoh tried to open his eyes and speak. "Hey, Hikoichi- kun… Go back… Kaede'll take care of me…"  
  
Confused of what to say, Hikoichi followed his orders, then he looked at Rukawa. "Rukawa-san… please look after him." Even though his voice and his eyes don't seem to confirm on Rukawa, he left anyway. Rukawa nodded slightly and bent his knees, and knelt.  
  
"Hey… What's that all about?" He softly ask, as he ran his fingers to Sendoh's soft spiked hair. Sendoh didn't look into the younger lad's eyes. Instead, he looked away and closed his.  
  
"So… I can't hide this anymore…" Sendoh shut his eyes tight and his lips winced in pain. Rukawa felt his heart skip a beat, listening to his sentence.  
  
"What do you mean…?"  
  
The Ryonan ace refused to answer. "Kaede… Hold me…" Rukawa was confused. First he hesitated but then, he moved Sendoh's head from the floor carefully and rested it upon his thigh, had on his cheek. Sendoh's lips tried to speak, but what comes out is barely audible. Rukawa leaned to shorten the distance between them. "Kaede, listen," he took a deep breath before he continued. "Kaede, since I'm a child, I've been suffering this heart failure. I got thin heart walls…"  
  
So what I had thought about is true, huh?  
  
"And then… this heart, can't support me to move freely, nor live a long life. But I continued to take on therapies and medications. Kaasan had tried to stop me from basketball a million of times, but unfortunately, I got into it too much, especially after I had met you." Rukawa's eyes grew wider. "You're a person who I'm interested here, and I somehow wanted to help you became stronger, yet then beat you. But this heart… This heart… It won't allow me anymore. Doctor said that the therapies and medicines that I took wouldn't work anymore; I'll die any moment from now. And I guess this is it, Kaede-kun…"  
  
Water gathered up in Rukawa's eyes, and was ready to fall now anytime. "What, Sendoh… Don't speak so crappy like this. The ambulance's on its way, it'll be alright by the time they get here, and you'll be just fine, just fine… I pro—"  
  
Sendoh put his index finger on Rukawa's trembling lips. "Don't promise what you can't, Kaede. I've done it, and I regretted it, cause I'll end up hurting you more. The night we were together, I knew that I'm dying, yet I promised you that I won't leave, I'll be with you. I knew I wasn't capable of doing it, but I promised anyway. And in the end I'll leave you broken…"  
  
Rukawa gripped Sendoh's hand tightly and placed it on his cheek, which is now wet with tears. "Don't say as if you're going to die or something…"  
  
There was silence, only sobs from Rukawa was heard. Sendoh Akira wanted so much to wipe the tears and ease the pain away, but he knew there's nothing more he could do. He had regretted it so much, for Rukawa will be the one who'll suffer the most. "Gomen nasai, Kaede…"  
  
Rukawa even cried harder, his forehead against Sendoh's. "Akira…"  
  
Sendoh tried so hard to smile, even though it looks out of place. "Kaede," fingers running across Rukawa's wet cheek, "I want to see you smile…"  
  
Bakero… How can I smile in times like this? Don't you know? I feel like my heart's been teared in pieces, just to watch you dying in my arms.  
  
1.1 "Onegai, Kaede… just once more…" Rukawa wiped his tears away and his lips were curved into a thin and pale smile. Sendoh's finger traced the arc of his lips and smiled back, as his eyes grew darker. "Arigatou…, Kaede…"  
  
Then soon after that, Sendoh's hand fell down beside him, and his body grew cold and motionless, though he was still breathing. "Akira…"  
  
"Akiraaaa!!!!!!" He screamed out loud, and the crowds and the people inside the gym froze.  
  
"Kusso…" Akagi cursed under his breath. He knew that this was the signs of the things he had wanted to hear the least. Hikoichi and Koshino rushed to the Ryonan changing room, followed by Uozumi and the rest of Ryonans, even Coach Taoka. Ayako, and the players on the court tailed them. Haruko who was with Youhei and the Sakuragi Gundan gasped, and rushed towards the locker room.  
  
Hikoichi gasped and fell to the floor as he saw the view of his dead senior. "Akira, akira… Hey…" Rukawa, who was holding Sendoh's body, shook it slowly and steadily, hoping that Sendoh would open his eyes and look into his. "Akira… Don't leave me, don't…"  
  
Ayako's eyes watered and tears streamed down her face. Miyagi who was beside her also felt sorry for them. He wrapped his arms around Ayako and pulled her head to his chest. "Rukawa-kun!" Haruko shed tears as she entered the room. Sakuragi patted her head and she threw himself to him. The rest of Ryonans gathered around Rukawa and helped Sendoh to the ambulance, which had just arrived.  
  
  
  
  
  
a.n : sendoh's not dead yet!!!!!! 


	7. gone too soon

--part 7--  
  
Gone Too Soon  
  
"Oioioi, minna! Anybody seen Rukawa today?" Ayako waved her paper fan in the air, trying to get the members' attention. Everybody looked down.  
  
"He's been absent for 4 days in a row already." Mitsui broke the silence from the corner of the gymnasium. Each member looked at him, then to Ayako.  
  
"Poor Rukawa… Sendoh's been a great impact in his life, I can tell. He hadn't paid so much attention to anybody before, except for him." He was right. Though Rukawa had acted so ignorant and so cold, deep inside he has a fragile heart. He dared to let nobody come to him, cause he feared to be hurt. Deep inside he's longing for someone to love, someone to care for him. "I can't say for sure, Aya-chan, minna. But I heard that Rukawa Kaede was left by his parents since he's 9 years old… I heard it from my neighbour, she was a friend of his mother," the Shohoku point guard continued.  
  
"Is it true?" Hanamichi took a step forward towards Miyagi.  
  
Miyagi shook his head and looked at his blurry reflections on the wooden floor. "I can't say it's true, though, but I heard them talking about it a lots of times." Everybody's eyes widened. They never know the Rukawa in their team had some sad background life. But they do know that Rukawa never let anybody come close enough to him to be his friend. "Maybe… He felt like he's hurt enough, and he didn't want any more pain. That's why he kept his distance away from the society. Though he wanted to be loved, he was afraid that his loved ones would part from him and leave him broken. That's how I thought he acted, but I can't say it's true."  
  
"Kitsune…" Whispered Sakuragi, whose view had changed when he saw Rukawa bent down and cry over Sendoh. "I thought he was always like that because that's the way it is… But when I saw him cry… I feel like I can see through his heart and saw all those burden of grief he must bear." He tightened his fist.  
  
"Rukawa Kaede… Who knows who he really is? He never spoke to anybody…" Ayako added. She was holding to her fan tightly. Rukawa was like a younger brother to him, she was always open for him. This is why she felt bad for him that much too. "...And sad to say, even though Sendoh's still alive, he can't possibly do anything except for breathing anymore. He'll have to live a life through wires and mechanics that'll support his heart."  
  
"Say what, why don't you guys come to his house and visit him after the practice?" The team's captain entered the gym, but he knew and was listening to their conversation. Everybody's eyes turned to him. "So, let's practice hard for today!"  
  
Everybody agreed, they went back to their own positions and worked on their own. "Hey, Akagi… Would you be coming too?" Sakuragi hadn't move all the while, he was still pinned to his position from the beginning. Akagi looked at him and noticed sorrow in his dark brown eyes.  
  
"No, Sakuragi… I got a lots of homework today. Perhaps tomorrow or some other day." Akagi bent down and placed his blue bag on the varnished gym floor and started stretching his arms and legs. How sad it is to hear that Akagi couldn't come with them. Sakuragi know feel that Akagi's presence could help them to pull Rukawa back from his grief.  
  
***  
  
The sky seems so peaceful, Rukawa hated it. Usually he lullabies himself to sleep while watching the clouds pass by the sky through the sunroof of his room. His eyes felt painful, perhaps because of crying all night long. It has been days since he had locked himself in his room, away from the world, still grieving over Sendoh.  
  
Why does this had to happen? Why was love and life so unfair? Why does he felt hurt this much? He felt like he had lost the soul in his life. Sad, it feels so sad, and empty. Just when he thought he had found the person to share with, to care for, to love, it all fades away in a short period of time.  
  
Trying to find ease to his pain, he walked towards his radio and turned it on. There were people talking, and Rukawa paid no attention to it. He just hopes that the conversation would end and they'll play a good song. He looked blankly at the sky but then his eyes snapped wide when he heard the word 'dying' coming from the radio. He stood up and turned the volume larger and listen to the speaker on the radio.  
  
//From the start she knew that she was dying, and at first she didn't want to tell me. I kept on coaxing her to tell me the truth, then at last she tell me the whole story. I felt like I'm breaking apart, but then I decided that I'll stay with her, so then I skip my work and went to her house and stayed beside her. I didn't want to miss a single minute without her. One day the time had come when she really had to go. So then I held her close and said the words I really wanted to say all these times. Then she smiled, it was the smile that I hadn't seen before. It felt so warm and she looks so beautiful that moment. I couldn't stand it, I bent down and kissed her. It was our first and last kiss, but it will last forever in my heart.//  
  
So... That guy managed to say those words, huh? Did I? No I didn't. Guess I'm a failure, I'm a loser.  
  
Then a song with mellow beat was played on the station. Rukawa listened to it carefully.  
  
Like the comet blazing 'cross the evening sky  
  
Gone too soon  
  
Like the rainbow fading in the twinkling of an eye  
  
Gone too soon  
  
Shining and sparkling, and splendidly bright  
  
Here one day, Gone one night  
  
Like the losses of light on a cloudy afternoon  
  
Gone too soon...  
  
Is it gone too soon? Yes, our love was gone too soon. Just when I thought I had found the right person to be loved, he then disappeared in the next moment.  
  
Like the castle built on sandy greens  
  
Gone too soon  
  
Like a perfect, perfect love just beyond our reach  
  
Gone too soon  
  
What to amuse, to admire any life?  
  
Here one day, and gone one night...  
  
Like the sunset dying with rising of the moon,  
  
Gone too soon...  
  
Rukawa felt warm teardrops running down his cheek. He feel like he can't carry on anymore. These burdens of sorrow were too heavy, and he can't continue on his own. He needs someone who'll help, someone caring enough. But this person he needed was gone.  
  
I want to die, and be on his side.  
  
Rukawa grabbed a khaki jacket from his closet and walked to the beach, which was just a mile or 2 from his house.  
  
  
  
a.n : okay okay… it's babyface's song, gone too soon, minna…! Neways… rukawa's attempting a suicide!!!!! Read on to the next chap to find out more ^^ 


	8. lesson of life

--part8--  
  
Lesson of Life  
  
  
  
"Aah! The weather is so cold!" Ayako shivered as the biting cold breeze ran through her skin. Even though she had wore enough jackets and stockings, the breeze can still be felt on her bones.  
  
"Cold, Aya-chan? Hold me and feel no cold!" Miyagi exclaimed, drooling at her. Ayako winced in disgust.  
  
"Stop drooling, ecchi!"  
  
"Hey look! Beach!" Sakuragi chanted as he tranced down the path. "That kitsune sure is lucky! He can see those beautiful bodies..." *began drooling*  
  
"Pervert... yeah sure you can look at girls in bikinis during summer, but in late autumn like today, all you can see is a fuzzy-haired geezer, standing in the midst of the beach, waiting for a huge wave to crush upon him!" Mitsui pointed a tall and lean guy, standing there on the beach, wearing a khaki jacket and a blue trouser. But then Mitsui's face grew tense.  
  
"What, Micchy? Why did you grow all silent all of a sudden?" Ayako, Miyagi and Sakuragi turned to Mitsui, who had stop walking. Sakuragi studied the figure that Mitsui had mentioned. Noticing the fuzzy-raven hair, Sakuragi laughed out loud. "Hey! That guy's hairdo looks like Kitsune's!"  
  
"Baka yarou! That is... Rukawa Kaede..." Mitsui gasped. "Oh my God he's trying to kill himself!"  
  
"What?!" Without waiting for an answer, Sakuragi rushed down to Rukawa, followed by his team mates. "Kitsune no bakaaaaaaa!!!!"  
  
"Matte yo, Sakuragi Hanamichi!" Ayako was the last to catch up with him. Since she's a girl and she's wearing a skirt, she can't run as fast as the others.  
  
Sakuragi grabbed Rukawa's arms and pull him back from the ocean. "Aho Kitsune! What are you trying to do? Kill yourself?!" Rukawa threw his face away, avoiding Sakuragi's eyes. "Look at me, Kitsune!"  
  
"Do'aho... Let go of me." Rukawa shook his arms hard, trying to slip away from Sakuragi's grip. Unfortunately Sakuragi had held him too hard, and he could barely move his arms freely.  
  
"What?! You want me to let you go and just drift into the ocean like that?!"  
  
"Sakuragi... Take it easy." Mitsui tried to calm Sakuragi down.  
  
"Hell no I ain't gonna take it easy! This bastard needs to learn some lesson about life, and I'm going to teach him!" Sakuragi stared deeply into Rukawa's indigo eyes.  
  
"What do you know about life, Do'aho!"  
  
Then Sakuragi's fist flew towards Rukawa's face.  
  
"Sakuragi Hanamichi!" Ayako cried from afar. "Stop it!"  
  
"Hit me all you want, cause you know nothing about life, all you know is hitting people... I want to die, it's my life, who are you to order me around?!"  
  
Sakuragi hit Rukawa once more. The Shohoku ace fell to the wet brown sands of the shore, and spatted out blood from his mouth.  
  
"Sakuragi!" Mitsui ran and grabbed his arms. Ayako rushed towards Rukawa, who was lying there, panting and laboring for breaths. "You're being too hard on him!"  
  
"Rukawa..." Ayako placed a hand on Rukawa's shoulder. She can feel it, he's trembling.  
  
"Stupid fuckface! What happened to you? You used to be all bossy in basketball. You got those people calling you super rookie or shohoku's ace, but when it comes to life, you got no brain about it, ain't ya?! You said I don't know anything about life, but face the fact, you're the one who didn't knew a damn thing! Why did you give up that easily? You know Sendoh's still alive!"  
  
"...still alive?"  
  
"Hah! I bet you didn't know about that! You've locked yourself for way too long, you shit! But it's useless to for you to know it, for even if you knew, you wouldn't have a single gut to come to him! What a lamer!"  
  
"Stop it! Sakuragi Hanamichi!" Ayako stood up and slapped his face. "You've said too much, and hurt him too much. You know he's been hurt so much, and now you're just adding the pressure!"  
  
Rukawa was now crying. He knew what Sakuragi said was right, and he hadn't got a single word to deny. How pathetic he was, he had just realized it. And Sendoh's still alive, but he insisted to give up on his life anyway.  
  
"Ayako-san..." Sakuragi's temper was slowly subsiding. "Ayako-san... How come nobody come to me and defended me the way you did?" He whispered under his breath.  
  
Mitsui and Miyagi let loose of his grip.  
  
"How come when oyaji died, nobody come to me to help me ease the pain?" He shut his eyes tight. The memories of his father's death played again in his mind. He tried to shook it away, but the more he tried, the more he was haunted by the vision. Couldn't stand it any longer, Sakuragi ran away from them and left to his house.  
  
"Sakuragi..."  
  
Mitsui helped Rukawa to stand up. From her bag, Ayako pulled out a white embroidered handkerchief to wipe the bruises and the blood from Rukawa's face, and then they escorted him back home.  
  
On their way back, Rukawa was deep in thought. "Sempai..."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Is it true...? Sendoh's still alive?"  
  
Ayako took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She hesitated to answer, but Rukawa needed it. "Well, Rukawa... He is..."  
  
Rukawa only nodded in gratitude. "And, what does Sakuragi mean by the pain he had mentioned?"  
  
Mitsui and Miyagi both looked at him and they stopped walking, just in front of Rukawa's mansion.  
  
"Well, Rukawa-kun... When he's in junior high school," Miyagi began. "He was involved in a fight with a group of gangsters, quite big. With himself all alone, he was able to defeat one of the members of the gang. Unfortunately, they knew where Sakuragi lived. They decided to take on revenge by beating up Sakuragi's father. But I guess they had beaten him up too bad, and it ended up murdering him."  
  
Rukawa froze, his eyes were wide. He felt sorry of what he had said to him. It must've hurt him badly, that's why he ran away from them. "Hey, guys... If tomorrow I didn't attend school... I wanted you to say sorry to Sakuragi, say it's from me. I don't care whether he listens or not, but that's all I wanted to say."  
  
He then walked into the gates of his house, and slammed the entrance door closed. "Did you hear that, Mitsui-san?" Miyagi's eyes were wide and blank in confusion.  
  
"Rukawa Kaede saying sorry to Sakuragi Hanamichi," added Mitsui. "That's like an event that you must record on the history of our lives."  
  
Ayako smiled and continued walking. She jumped, and turned back, facing the two players of Shohoku High. "Ne, Ryota. You know he has a good heart inside." She winked at him, causing Ryota to fly in happiness and joy, with little pink hearts circling around him, and chibi wings on his back. "Want some drink, guys? It's my treat."  
  
"Sure..." They both agreed and headed downtown. 


	9. hesitation

--part 8--  
  
1 Hesitation  
  
Warm rays of morning sunlight shone through the window, landing on Rukawa's pale cheek. He opened his eyes and looked at the clock right beside his bed. It's 7 am already, and he got an hour before the school bell rang.  
  
Should I go to school? I'm not in the mood, though, but I've took too many days off.  
  
Then he was remembered of something. "Akira..." Yeah, Sendoh was still alive, and he's in the hospital. I should visit him, before it's too late. Rukawa grabbed his telephone and dialed Ayako's phone number, the only number he memorized in his head.  
  
And then the call was picked up, followed by a yawn. "Moshi-moshi?"  
  
"Aa... May I speak to... Ayako?"  
  
There was silence from the other side. "...who's this?"  
  
"Aa... Ano... It's Rukawa..."  
  
"Ah! Rukawa! Yeah, what is it, Rukawa-kun?"  
  
So, it's Ayako from the beginning. "Well, I just want to ask... Do you know which hospital Sendoh's in?"  
  
"Hmm... Yeah... It's Yukishirou hospital. You know, it's not that far from Ryonan high. You can ask the people around if you can't find it, then they'll show you."  
  
"Aah... I see..."  
  
"You want to skip school and pay a visit, do you?"  
  
Rukawa shut his eyes and sighed. "Sempai, this will be the last time... Promise..."  
  
"I'm nod mat at you, you know..."  
  
"Oh... Eh... Sempai, how's Sendoh been doing... Do you know?"  
  
Ayako paused for a moment. "Well... Rukawa-kun... He's not well..."  
  
"And then...?"  
  
"And then he can't open his eyes yet..."Rukawa froze. So, Sendoh couldn't open his eyes for now... "And he, and he... had a few mechanical devices to support his breath and his heart."  
  
"Well... I see.... Sorry to trouble you...."  
  
"No no no, you're not troubling at all... Instead, it's good that you wake me up, I came home late last night, spent it drinking with Mitsui and Ryota. Hehehe... Anyways, I want to take a shower first, ja ne, Rukawa- kun..."  
  
"Arigato gozaimasu, Sempai..."  
  
"You're welcome."  
  
And then she hung up the call. Yukishiro hospital, huh? I see... Rukawa grabbed a towel that had been hanging on the stool in his room and take a shower. He's dying, he can't open his eyes, and he can't even breathe unless he was helped by devices. Rukawa tried to imagine how he would look in the hospital. He pictured a horrible view. Rukawa shut his eyes tight. I'm scared to go... But I must... Or else....  
  
After the shower, he took a white long-sleeved shirt and grey baggy pants. It looked more to formal than sporty, the way Rukawa usually dressed. But this is not an ordinary visit, and Sendoh's not an ordinary person to him either, so he must dress special. After putting on some deodorant and sexy- smelling cologne (haha, he wears it to seduce Sendoh ^_^; hahaha *joke*), Rukawa went downstairs and unchained his favorite red bike.  
  
He also carried his discman with him, and listens to it while paddling to Yukishiro hospital. He was listening to a various compilation cd, and then one song really really caught his attention.  
  
I used to walk within the shadows  
  
Lost in a world that moves too fast  
  
I was afraid I'll always be alone  
  
And I saw your face at last...  
  
I found my way even in the dark  
  
There were times, it seemed too far  
  
I knew if I listen to my heart  
  
I found that love is where you are...  
  
I closed my eyes and see tomorrow  
  
My dreams begin and end with you  
  
I used to say you'll be there,  
  
Always for me there  
  
I must believe it's true  
  
I found my way even in the dark  
  
There were times it seemed too far  
  
I knew if I listen to my heart  
  
I found that love is where you are  
  
Love is where you are  
  
And anywhere you are  
  
Is where I want to be  
  
No other way may happen  
  
No matter where I go  
  
Your arms are holding me  
  
I found my way even in the dark  
  
There were times it seems so far  
  
So now I knew even at first sight  
  
That love is everywhere you are  
  
Love is where you are  
  
Love is where Sendoh are, the words of the lyrics is true. Whenever Rukawa was near Sendoh, he felt so secure and loved. Sendoh is what he had longed after the days wandering in the darkness. Sendoh brought him into the light. But still, it can't help him settle his mind, for he will be going or not.  
  
"Rukawa-kun!"  
  
Rukawa first didn't hear someone calling out for him, perhaps because the volume of the discman was too loud. "Rukawa-kun!"  
  
This time the person ran out to him and tagged him, Rukawa was surprised and then he turned all of a sudden, and he fell from his bike.  
  
"Gomen nasai! Hontou ni gomen nasai!!!!!" It was Haruko, standing behind him. "Daijoubu ka, Rukawa-kun?"  
  
Rukawa dusted himself and picked up the scattered pieces of his discman. He didn't answer Haruko's question, nor look at her. After picking up the discman, he placed it in his pocket and lifted his red bicycle from the ground.  
  
"Rukawa-kun? You're going to skip school again?"  
  
Rukawa finally turned his back to look at her. "Yeah..." His nervousness was making him looking so tense.  
  
"Where are you going?" She trotted, following him on his bike.  
  
"Hospital..."  
  
She then stopped. "Sendoh, isn't it?"  
  
Rukawa stopped too, and then stood, with his back facing her. "Yeah..."  
  
"I see... Ah! Rukawa-kun! There's bruises on your face! What happened? And your eyes seemed like you didn't get enough sleep!"  
  
That's it, she's being too annoying. Rukawa just went on walking straight ahead, ignoring her chants.  
  
"But I'm glad, Rukawa-kun... You're over the grief and pain, and you can finally go and visit him again." She smiled in delight.  
  
Rukawa stopped his steps once again, this time he turned to stare at her. All of a sudden tears welled up in his eyes and he fell down to his knees. "...Me? Over the grief and pain?"  
  
"Rukawa-kun?" She rushed towards him and knelt beside him, arms upon his back. "Rukawa-kun are you okay? I'm sorry if any of my words had hurt you..."  
  
Rukawa didn't answer, instead tears began to fall on his cheeks and there he goes, crying again. "Help me... Onegaisuru..."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
a.n : the song I used is Diana Krall's love is where you are (if I'm not mistaken…), and… rukawa crying out for help to haruko coz he's desperately need assistance… don't kill me, minna~! 


	10. a miracle that keeps him alive

--part 10--  
  
   
  
a miracle that keeps him alive  
  
The two were walking towards the park nearby. The leaves of the trees on the sides of the path were now red and orange, and some were already falling, piling up on the edges of the road.  
  
"Rukawa... means flowing river, right?"  
  
Rukawa shrugged. He didn't care enough about that name to know the definition to it. "I don't care about it."  
  
"Oh..." That word was the only word that she could think about that time. "Kaede... means maple tree..." She paused and looked at the sky. "You got a beautiful name, Rukawa-kun..."  
  
Rukawa looked down with his bike on his hands, the red-colored bicycle. He let out a heavy sighed. "So what? Nobody cared anyway... It's just a name of a guy..."  
  
Haruko tranced around the park and kicked the dry leaves with her feet. It flew through the breeze heavenly, dancing in a mellow rythm around the air. She didn't want to continue with the talk, for she kne w that it'll be quite hard to argue with him about things which she's not clear about yet. "So, Rukawa-kun.... What do you want to talk about?"  
  
Rukawa held back his answer and parked his bike, leaning it against a light pole in the corner of the park. He bit his lips and gulped, not knowing what to say or how to explain it to her. Deep inside he knew he needs help, but he just say it in words. It's too painful to reminisce the time.  
  
"You don't need to say, I can understand... I already knew the circumstances," she paused, "You're afraid to see Sendoh-san, right? Afraid to see the happy-go-lucky Sendoh lying in coma at the hospital. I know, it doesn't suit him at all." Akagi Haruko walked to a stone-carved bench and sat on it. Rukawa only followed her slowly from behind. He didn't take a seat beside her, instead he just stood right before Akagi's little sister. He was stunned to found out how fast she could comprehend his situation. Probably because she's a girl, girls share stories a lot.  
  
Rukawa lowered his head, his green-shaded raven hair flowing in the air, played by the winds of autumn. "I still can't face the fact, I guess... I still think to myself that Akira can still play, still smile, and still say out my name..." He looked up, the sky was so clear, crystal clear and bright.  
  
Haruko signaled to him to take a seat beside her, so that he won't be worn out by standing up for a long time. Rukawa obeyed her and take the vacant spot of the stone bench. "Rukawa-kun... Did you know that he miraculously survived and kept on holding on?" Rukawa's eyes snapped wide, he turned his head, facing towards her, staring at her soft skin of her face. "Last time when me and Oni-chan went to his hospital together with Koshino-san, the doctor was shocked to see that Sendoh-san's still capable of living. He was suprised, and he said to us that no one could possibly survive with a very low heart condition like that. Fujiwara-san, the doctor said it was a miracle." She then turned her head and looked at Rukawa's beautiful and deep blue eyes. "Perhaps it's your love binds around him and supported his life. You kept him alive Rukawa-kun..."  
  
"My... love?"  
  
She nodded gleely and smiled wide. "Therefore, if you want him to last longer, you should go. In that way you'll support his survival, and if God's really merciful, who knows he'll give a blessing and cure him back. I can't say it's guaranteed, though." She chuckled, very happy that she could at last have a talk with the man of her dreams.  
  
"Akira..." He went silent after that. He began to think to himself. Akira... Is it true that my love's been there to support you and give you faith? But... Living like that with wires plugged around you is painful... It hurts so much, doesn't it? He closed his eyes.  
  
"So, Rukawa-kun... You'll be going, right? I believe Sendoh-san's waiting for you..." She stood up and dusted her skirt.  
  
Rukawa only nodded, he's still depressed with the thoughts. "You're going to school?"  
  
She shook her head. "I don't think so... I think I'm late for an hour or so..."  
  
"Then where will you be going to?"  
  
Haruko looked down. "Truly I don't know... If I go back to my house, Mom will kill me... And if I go to school... I think it'll take another hour to walk to there... Ohhh... What should I do..?"  
  
Rukawa fetched his bike and sat on the saddle, holding the bike down with his foot on the ground and another on the paddle. "Then... Why don't you come with me, Haruko-san...?"  
  
Did he just call her Haruko-san? Haruko was disbelieved, but still, she was flying around in the air with pink hearts all over the air around her, circling her head, and her eyes turned to red hearts. "... If it is okay with you..."  
  
"Of course... You're the one who gives me inspiration and motivation..." He turned to her and smiled, "Arigatou, Haruko-san..."  
  
a.n: okay, now we're looking at Haruko, flying in the air, wings behind her back.  
  
Haruko sat on the hind saddle of the bike, and her arms clinging around Rukawa's waist, eyes turned to hearts. Everybody that passed by looked at them. What a couple, they thought, beautiful girl, gorgeous stud. *a.n: don't kill me...* Then at last they reached Yukishiro hospital. Rukawa jumped off the bike and chained it on the parking lot. He entered the hospital with Haruko on his tail and walked over to the receptionist.  
  
"Can I help you?" The receptionist asked. She was still young, perhaps at her mid-twenties. Her hair was dyed blonde and it was quite wavy. It was long, and hanging to her back.  
  
"Umm...." He cleared his throat before begin speaking. "Can you please tell me Sendoh Akira's ward number?"  
  
She smiled, "Okay, please wait for a while." She ran the search on the hospital's database computer. Then she looked at him, "It's in the emergency unit, fifth floor, west wing, number 35."  
  
Rukawa bowed in gratitude, and followed the signs that said Emergency Unit. When they reached the E.U, he looked around and searched for a lift or stairways. "That's the lift, Rukawa-kun...." Haruko pointed her index finger towards the stainless door just on the corner of their left side. He entered the lift and hit the 5th floor button.  
  
When they exit the lift, Haruko bumped onto a nurse, who was making her way into the lift. "Oh sorry, miss!" She bowed to apologize.  
  
The nurse shook her head and instead, she offered them for help. "How can I help you, you two?"  
  
"Aah... Can you show us Sendoh Akira's ward? I believe it's on this floor and it's on the west wing..." Haruko answered straight.  
  
Her eyes narrowed and she looked at them, studying the figure with curiousity. "Are you guys his friends?" They only nodded. "Well, I can show you, follow me." She escorted the couple through the hall, and stopped before a door with an iron sign writed 35 on it. "Sorry, but only one can enter at a time."  
  
"You go first, Rukawa-kun...." Rukawa nodded and made his way into the ward.  
  
  
  
a.n : did i've make a mistake on d names? I've edited them :) Neways, hehe this chapter kinda sucked, rukawa doesn't sound like himself and i completely lost my idea to what's gonna happen during haruko n rukawa's conversation. U see, this is the edited version of Story of Us, I lost the original file. ~__~ what can i do... so... hm... let this be the temporary for now... I promise I'll edit this chap as soon as i got the original file 


	11. learning to let go

--part 11--  
  
1 Learning to let go…  
  
It was a horrid view. Shutting eyes won't help. The vision of it was already captured by the mind, and it'll keep on popping out again and again, ceaseless. No matter how hard he tried to shook his thoughts off, it'll still come back, it'll never let him escape. Wires, cables are everywhere, it's all over him. Afraid to take a step forward, Rukawa stood there, freezing. No! I musn't run away…! I've made up my mind!  
  
He battled his mind and closen up the distance between the two. "Akira… You… This can't be true…" Repeatedly he rubbed his eyelids, and ordered himself to wake up. He thought this was a nightmare, an awful nightmare, but it's not. It's the reality. He then quit his foolish action and opened his eyes. Akira… How does it feel? Is it painful?  
  
It must've been, it must've hurt. Sendoh Akira's suffering of pain from every inch of his body, his skin, his tendons. How can he hold back such pain that's so overwhelming. Akira… You don't have to stay this way, not at all…  
  
Rukawa swallowed down his saliva and opened his mouth to talk. It moved but no sounds come out, only harsh air was heard. His lips began trembling, but he must speak, no matter what. So then he closed his eyes and began to spit out his words. "Akira… I don't know if you're listening to me or not… But I wanted to say all this things from the depth of my heart."  
  
There was no response from him, he didn't even move a single bit. Rukawa hesitated to continue, but he knew he got to. So then he grabbed a wooden chair from the edge of the ward and placed it beside the bed. He sat on it and held Sendoh's hand in his, softly. "Akira… I'm sorry… All of this times I've locked myself in the sadness of my heart, I hid myself from the world. I didn't know you were still in alive, Akira… I'm sorry…" His grip on Sendoh's cold hand tighten.  
  
"I've left you here alone, cold and lonely… I should've come to you, for you have been there for me when I was feeling cold and lonely… I'm sorry…" He bowed his head down. It felt so dumb, as if he was talking to a huge pile of rock in his garden, but he insisted to continue anyway. "Akira… I'm here to tell you all of the things that I couldn't say back then…" Rukawa smiled lightly. Something made him felt eased. He felt like Sendoh was paying attention to him. The atmosphere of the ward changed. Now it has become warm and pleasant.  
  
"Akira… Since you came into my life, I felt like I was reborn. You make me feel brand new, I was so glad. I felt like I've finally found the person whom I could pour my feelings to…" He paused to take a deep breath before he continued. "I… Even though our relationship didn't last long enough, I feel like you've got a special place in my heart. You're always with me, like what you've promised, Akira…"  
  
"You're here, still holding on, because you cared enough for your responsibility to take care of the promise you've given me, right, Akira? That was kind of you, for I know that it's not easy, and it takes a lot of pain… Thank you, Akira…" Rukawa stood up and knelt beside him, leaning his head against the sheets of the ward's bed, with Sendoh's hand in his. "And did you know? All of these times I've spent in grief crying for you, I always thought I was the one who's suffering the most. But now I know, I've realized how selfish I was. Now when I'm here in your presence, I now know, you're the one who's taking all the pain to bear, just because of me… because of me. How foolish I was…"  
  
"Now I must confess, I need you, so much, so bad… Tell you the truth my world collapsed at that moment that occurred during the match. I feel like my future's hollow… I'm lost again without you. Now I know, I've finally realized, you've never leave me. You're there by my side…"  
  
"And… I guessed… I loved you…"  
  
"Akira… I don't want you to leave me… But I don't want you to suffer anymore because of me… Therefore, Akira… If it's better for you to go, just go… Even though it'll be hard for me, but I wont give up. I'll keep on trying hard and keep on struggling through my journeys of life."  
  
Out of his control, Rukawa shed tears. It streamed down through his cheek, down to his chin, and stained the sheets. Crying making him hard to speak, but he forced to. "Once again, Akira… Thank you for all the things you've done to me. You make a great impact to my life. You're my best friend, you'll always be… I'm sorry for the days I've abandoned you and left you laying here wrapped in sheets of coldness and emptiness… Akira… Now go, to where you'll find eternal happiness, without pain and more sorrow."  
  
Rukawa stood up, "I love you, Akira…" He bent down and kissed his forehead. The moment seemed so bliss and tender, just like a moment that will last forever in the frames of the heart. The shohoku ace looked down to him.  
  
Tears welled up on the corner of Sendoh's closed eyes, and a single drop rolled down on his face. Just after that, the lines of peaks in the heartbeat indicator fades, and finally turned to a line. The alarm rang, outside the ward, nurses and doctors thrown into panic. They rushed around, trying to get to Sendoh's ward.  
  
"Akira?" Carefully Rukawa reached out his palms and touched the trace of the tears on Sendoh's face, softly, as if it was fragile like a thin wall of crystal. The door slammed open, a few nurses, doctors and other hospital crews ran in, gathering around Sendoh's bed. Rukawa walked out, with his teary eyes and wet face. Haruko, who had been standing outside in patience, gasped and covered her mouth with her tiny, gentle hands.  
  
"Rukawa-kun!" Rukawa threw himself to her and held her tight, crying hard, tears on her soft and sweet-scented dark hair. Haruko hugged him back, she was confused of the current situation, but she swallowed her questions, in order not to bother Rukawa who is now feeling broken.  
  
"I've done it… I've learned to let him go… Haruko-san…" He whispered to her ear.  
  
  
  
a.n :: waiii.. it's so messy! I guess I wasn't focusing too much on writing this chapter :(… Anyway… This chapter was inspired by my substitute teacher! I took a few parts and words from her story of when her best friend was about to die. :) anyways… it's not over yet, minna~! It's still going on!! Next chapter's coming up… 


	12. vanilla snows in the soul

--part 12--  
  
vanilla snows in the soul  
  
It's a painful night. A night that tore away a piece of Rukawa's heart. He was still mourning, in Haruko's arms, even though they're already miles away from the hospital. His heart aches and now his stomach's grumbling. The sun's already setting and he hasn't eat a single thing since last night. His vision became blurry and he felt fireflies were flying around his sight. His eyes were sore because of crying too much, and now his head feels so depressed and dizzy. He could fell down and fainted any moment from now, and he did. "Rukawa-kun!"  
  
Haruko's confused. She didn't know what to do? Was it to drag him around to her house, since it's near, or just to stay with him until he had regain his consciousness. She didn't know when he'll wake up, so immediately, she chained the bike and carried the collapsed Rukawa to her house.  
  
Meanwhile, at the Akagi residence, the Shohoku basketball team captain was walking back and forth, head filled with worries. He heard from his sister's friend that she didn't attend school today, and when he got back, she's not home. She could be anywhere in town, and he didn't know how to find her nor who to call. "Imouto! Where are you?!" He cried out loud since his parent's not home. Then straight after that the doorbell rang and he went to greet the visitor.  
  
Beyond the entrance door, he found a figure of his sister, carrying a person who's not conscious, his arms hanging around her shoulders. "Imouto! Where have you been all day, and who's that stranger?" Akagi can't determine who the person is, since his face was covered with his long bangs. Haruko ignored her brother and walked into the house, into the living room. She helped the lad to recline over the sofa and took his shoes off for him.  
  
"He's not a stranger, Oni-chan, can't you tell?" She then brushed the strands of dark and green-tinted hair away from the wet face, giving a clear look of the person's face.  
  
"Rukawa Kaede? Why is he with you? I know he was absent 4 days ago and today, but I didn't expect that he was with you!" He stopped to ponder about his sentence, and blushed.  
  
Looking at Akagi's tomato-red face, Haruko blushed too, as if she knew what her brother was thinking about. "Hentai! It wasn't like what you're thinking, Oni-chan!! Now can you please fetch some cold water and towel?"  
  
Akagi glared at her sharply. "Okay, Oni-chan! I'll tell you the whole story after that, okay? Please, Oni-chan dearest?" She begged with her hands together.  
  
Akagi sighed, he could never resist those pleas. Haruko's face was so irresistible, especially when she put on those puppy eyes. He headed to the kitchen and grabbed a plastic bowl, filled it with cold water and ice. As he walked back, questions are still ringing in his mind. How in the world Rukawa get to her anyway? There must be something strange, very very strange indeed. He then flushed all red again. "Here," he gave his sister the cold water. Haruko received it and stared at him with a quizzical face.  
  
"Oni-chan, where's the towel?"  
  
Akagi blinked. He forgot to grab a towel from the kitchen. Perhaps he was thinking of too much ecchi. "I-I'll go get it…". He ran back and get a medium sized towel, all white clean and fluffy, and handed it to Haruko. Haruko bowed in apreciation and dipped it into the bowl, soaking it wet with cold water. Then she folded it neatly and placed it over Rukawa's forehead, wiping the sweats away. "Imouto, now you should tell me what happened."  
  
She looked at him through her back and sighed. "Well, when I was going to school, I met him. He looked so confused and so desperate, so I ask what was he doing, is he going to school or not, since he was wearing this outfit," she pointed at Rukawa's clothing. "You must know how I feel, Oni- chan…" She put on those wide, teary puppy eyes.  
  
There are sweatdrops on Akagi's head. "What have you guys been doing from morning to evening? I hope it's not something bad… Akagi's face turned boiling red again.  
  
"Oni-chan, why do you have to be so perverted?!"  
  
He only shrugged. "Well…"  
  
"It's a long story, Captain. Please forgive her. I'm the one to blame." Rukawa stood up, the wet towel on his hand. He had been conscious, and Haruko was relieved.  
  
Akagi only sighed as when he noticed Rukawa's weary face. "Okay…"  
  
Haruko smiled and threw herself to her brother. How she loved him, his patience, and his careness to her. All of the years they passed together, Akagi had been a protective and caring brother, yet he was all independent and strong. It was really a pleasure to have Akagi as a brother, and Haruko loved him so.  
  
Rukawa's stomach began to grumble again, now it's beginning to ache. He should grab a thing or two to eat on his way home. Haruko looked at him and smiled. "Oni-chan, have you eaten dinner?"  
  
Akagi shook his head. "Rukawa perhaps you could join us for dinner this time, Haruko is an expert cook. She made all kinds of delicious things." He nudged Haruko's arm with his elbow joint softly. Haruko only blushed.  
  
The Shohoku ace felt glad that he at last could eat. He only nodded and sat there silently. Suddenly his mind reminded him about the event that had occurred lately, Sendoh's death. Sendoh's dead, it's a fact, it's not a nightmare that he could just wake up from, it's real. Rukawa shuddered and covered his face with his hands.  
  
"Rukawa are you okay? You looked all so tired."  
  
"…Ah… Hai, Captain. I'm okay."  
  
Akagi took a seat and faced Rukawa. "How's Sendoh doing? Did you pay a visit or two lately?"  
  
The sentence shot through his heart like pressures of pain, causing his heart to ache so bad. Rukawa gritted his teeth and shut his eyes tight behind the hands that had been covering his face. What should he answer? Why did Akagi had to ask him that question?  
  
The critic situation was interrupted by the sound of the bell from the door. Akagi quickly stood up and rushed to the door to see who it was. He twisted the doorknob and opened it. It was Uozumi in a blue T-shirt and black trouser with 3 white stripes on the sides of it. "Uozumi? What brings you here? Would you like to come in?"  
  
Uozumi shook his head and bit his bottom lip. He looked aside, breaking the contact between Akagi's eyes and his. "Akagi… I'm here to deliver the news."  
  
The gorilla-like man inside the house was confused and curious. "What news," he said. Uozumi didn't reply, then he closed his eyelids. Before speaking anymore words he took a deep breath.  
  
"Akagi… Sendoh Akira is no more…"  
  
Akagi freezed on the doorway. He felt like his eyes were blank for a moment and his heart skipped a beat.  
  
"He died just then, about half an hour or so. His mom called me."  
  
Akagi shook his head in disbelief. This couldn't be true, he thought Sendoh was doing fine and he's about to recover.  
  
"Gomen Akagi…"  
  
Rukawa walked to the doorway squeezed his way out between the two giants. He can't take it, listening to anymore of this sad talks about Sendoh Akira. It just make him feel like he want to run away to the middle of nowhere. "I'm leaving, Captain." Without wating for anymore answers he left and walked back to his house. It seems like he didn't care about his bike that had been chained to a light pole.  
  
The temperature was so cold, it was freezing. The bitter cold caressed Rukawa's pale skin and it bit through his bones. He felt himself chilling, since he's not wearing any jacket at all. It could snow any moment from now.  
  
Finally he reached his mansion and opened the gate, which was unlocked. Tiny drops of vanilla came from the sky, landing onto earth. Rukawa looked up. "Yuki da…" He whispered slowly.  
  
He watched the snows fall down gently. It seemed so beautiful and so serene. Every bits dance in the air, twisting and turning playfully. "Kirei…" Teardrops began to fell again. He can't manage to hold back his tears, he was too overwhelmed by his grief.  
  
  
  
  
  
a.n :: haha I've made Akagi turned to an ecchi brother in this chap! How cruel am I! Hehehe anyways, it's still going on… still still still going :)  
  
btw, r&r plz, minna-san! I will really appreciate it :) 


	13. call me a friend

--part 13--  
  
call me a friend  
  
Rukawa unlocked the door and made his way into the room. It's so dark, so empty, so cold. He remembered the time when Sendoh first came into his house. It was his first visitor ever since his parents left him. How he missed his parents, so much… so much. When will he be able to visit him again? He looked forward for that event to come.  
  
Rukawa took a glance around the house. It seemed that the night when Sendoh's there played again. He imagined Sendoh's figure walking around the house, and he remembered every single thing that he did. He smiled but it soon faded. It's just a memory, he no longer exists.  
  
Still crying, he walked to his room and sat on the corner and curled himself up. How to learn to let go? What could possibly ease his sorrow? Rukawa imagined of how the upcoming days would be. He'll be back to his old self again, a hermit.  
  
"Kitsuneee!!!" A voice broke the silence. Slowly he lifted his head from his knees and pondered. It was the familiar voice of Sakuragi Hanamichi, who's known as his rival and perhaps an enemy. Rukawa ignored him and put his head on his knees. His arms was wrapped around his legs. "Kitsuneee!! Where are you? Answer me!"  
  
Rukawa ignored him again, he didn't want to be disturbed, he just want to be alone for now. Besides he thinks that Sakuragi's here to hit him again, just like what happened on the beach the other day. Rukawa placed his hands over his ears, trying to reduce the noise that Sakuragi'll make more. But it was out of his expectation, he didn't call out for him anymore. There was only silence.  
  
Finally the door slammed open, and the redhead was standing before it. "Kitsune… Didn't you hear me calling?" This time his voice was soft, and his breath was laboring.  
  
Rukawa didn't move. He's still curled up in the corner with his palms on his ears, legs bent, head over his knees. Sakuragi took a few steps forward, closing up the distance between them.  
  
"Are you here to hit me again?" Finally he spoke.  
  
Sakuragi's eyes narrowed and sharpened. His brows were arched upwards. The redhead knelt down and embraced his crying peer. "I'm here to make sure you're okay."  
  
Rukawa was shocked, he never expected Sakuragi to care so much for him. He never knew that Sakuragi's willing to hold him. "I'm okay… So leave me alone…"  
  
"Why?" Rukawa snuggled out of Hanamichi's embrace.  
  
"I'm too sad to be with anybody right now…"  
  
Hanamichi winced in disgust. He stood up and glared at Rukawa, who wasn't looking at him and still busy weeping to himself. "You are a cheeky bastard, Rukawa Kaede…"  
  
"I'm not a cheeky bastard, aho. You probably should look at yourself on the mirror and realize who you really are, Do'aho." Rukawa replied in a monotone voice, yet sharp and piercing.  
  
The sentence blew Sakuragi's patience off. He grabbed Rukawa's collar and pulled him up recklessly. "You never learn, do you?!" With all his strength Sakuragi threw hard, and he landed on soft pillows on the bed. "You're always think you're suffering most! You never knew how others felt, didn't you?! Think about them! His parents, his brothers, his sisters, his neighbors, his relatives, his close friends, his pet, his dog!" Sakuragi pointed his finger at Rukawa's face. "You never knew how Boss Monkey felt, how Koshino felt, how Hikoichi-kun and that jerk coach felt! Nor Maki, wild monkey, Jin, nor Fujima or Hanagata, Haruko-san, Ayako-san, Micchy, Ryochin, Gori, Megane-kun, everybody! You never knew how they felt, didn't you? You're always so selfish!" He panted for air, and stopped for a while.  
  
Rukawa only stared at him, his face still wet, hair messed up. "Hanamichi…"  
  
Sakuragi leaned forward and hugged him tight. "Don't get yourself too carried on, Rukawa… We all missed you back then, and we've been suffering too much pain since Sendoh's gone. All of us didn't want to lose anyone anymore. It's too painful enough."  
  
Rukawa was dumbfounded and startled. He didn't know Sakuragi could say such things to him. Rukawa felt warmth flowing rom him. "Hanamichi…" Then his head turned towards the window, watching the snows drift along, forming layers of whiteness all over the land of Japan. "Do'aho you're crying…"  
  
Hanamichi chuckled lightly, his chin upon Rukawa's broad shoulder. "You find it strange, didn't you?"  
  
"… I never saw you cry…"  
  
He chuckled again, this time softer. "Can't I at least be sad 'cause that smiley's gone? You see… If you only knew, tonight, under the same sky, there are people crying over him, not only you. Though no matter how sad they were, how broken they are, they must continue. They must lift up their chest and be strong to walk on. Therefore, Rukawa… I wanted you to carry on with your life. I believe Sendoh also wanted you to reach your dreams." He pulled back and smiled to Rukawa, who was still surprised by his act. "And Rukawa… You musn't cry too much. I know he doesn't want you to cry…" Hanamichi stroked Rukawa's bangs and smothered the tears from Rukawa's face.  
  
It felt warm, it's so warm. Sakuragi Hanamichi's hand is so warm. He never felt a person who's as warm as he since Sendoh. Rukawa smiled back to him and wiped his own tears. "Hanamichi when did you become so concerned about me like this? And why?"  
  
"I'm just worried that you'd do some stupid things like cutting yourself or what… And why? I don't know… I just don't like the idea of crying on Gori's shoulder." He felt goosebumps rise upon his skin when he pictured himself crying with Akagi.  
  
Rukawa blinked, with a huge sweatdrops on his head. "Oi, you know what… I think it's better like this, you know. Me and you… And I guess being friends and having friends are such a delight. Akira made me realized that, and I felt sorry for myself for spending those previous years all by myself."  
  
The redhead boy in Rukawa's arms laughed. "Don't worry, you always have the time to make up the things you've missed."  
  
"Friends?"  
  
Hanamichi pulled back and slapped Rukawa's hand in agreement. "Friends…" His smile grew wider. Rukawa smiled too, this time it wasn't thin and small smiles, this is the smile that came from his heart.  
  
"Arigato, Hanamichi…"  
  
And that night, the two who used to be great rivals turned upside down, they were friends now. They spent the rest of the night sharing their sorrow and sadness together.  
  
  
  
a.n :: waaa… rukawa and hanamichi are now friends! Isnt' it a wonder? ^o^  
  
story's not over yet, minna.. :) chapter 14 is coming up… wait for the updates… r&r plz! Thankz! 


	14. i'll shed tears for u, just once more...

--part 14--  
  
I'll shed tears for you… just once more…  
  
The songs of the morning birds broke the silence between the cold air. Rukawa looked through the window, everything was white. Snows still falling down from the sky as the layers of white ice around thickens. It's winter, and winter holiday finally started. Today Sendoh'll be buried, and everybody'll be coming. Now even though Sakuragi had finally revived the joy inside his heart, he still can't bear losing Sendoh. He refused to attend today's ceremony, it'll be too hard for him.  
  
Rukawa rolled out of bed and breathed the air through his lungs. He realized that his room was very cold, even though he had worn 2 layers of sweaters for sleep. Perhaps the heater's not working properly. He'll have to check it later on this day. He exit the house and looked around. Everything was white as a feather. It seemed so peaceful. Then he noticed the plastic red flag of his mailbox was erecting. It means there's a letter inside it. Who would've possibly sent him a letter? He hadn't even received a letter even once. The raven-haired lad reached his hands inside the box and find a letter, saying : To Rukawa Kaede. Who might it be? He was filled with excitement. It was his first letter. Rukawa teared the envelope seal and took the letter out.  
  
//Dear, Kaede-chan…  
  
I'm sorry to have left you for such a long time… There's a reason behind it. It's not that I don't love you anymore, it's just that me and To-san decided that we shouldn't fight in front of your face, it'll hurt you. Our relationship's getting worse and we decided to settle it in another place. Sorry, Kaede-chan. I hope those money that I've sent to your bank account is useful, and I hope you spend them wisely. Right now we're settled, our angst had subsided, and we decided to move back to meet you.  
  
Kaede-chan, we're coming back as soon as possible, there'll be a lot of stories that I want to tell you. We missed you so much, we looked forward to meet you again and see how much you've grown. I hope you're turning up to be a well-mannered and gorgeous boy. We can't wait to see you again.  
  
So goodbye for now and let's meet again!  
  
With Love,  
  
Ka-san and To-san from Italy//  
  
"Ka-san… To-san…" He held the paper tight. He was so happy to hear from them, he could laugh out loud any moment from now. His parents who had been gone for such a long time is now coming back to him. How would they look now? It would be very exciting to hear the story from them. He smiled widely and jumped high.  
  
"Oi, Rukawa… Why are you looking so happy?" Ayako was watching him all of the time. She never had seen Rukawa jumping high in happiness, and a wide smile painted on his lips.  
  
"Aa… Sempai… I didn't know you were there…" He blushed, knowing that his act was simply childish and stupid.  
  
"Gomen… Did I surprise you?" She shrugged. Rukawa shook his head and crumpled the letter into his pocket. "Can I come in?"  
  
The lad only nodded and opened the door from him. He emerged into the room, followed by Ayako, his senior. "Wow, Rukawa-kun… Nice decorations…"  
  
"I'll get you a tea, Sempai."  
  
Ayako grabbed his arms. "No no no, it's unnessecary. I'm only here for a little talk, anyway. Sit, Rukawa…"  
  
Rukawa obeyed her and sat down on the couch. The Shohoku basketball club manager examined Rukawa's face carefully, studying each points of it. "I'm sorry to hear Sendoh's death, it must've been hard for you, Rukawa…"  
  
He didn't answer, he looked away from her eyes. "But it's better… He's free now… He didn't have to suffer anymore pain."  
  
Was it true? He's free now? He didn't have to suffer anymore? How could she know? Was there a guarantee to her words?  
  
"Anyways, today he's going to be buried in the Chizu memorial cemetery."  
  
"Sempai I don't think I'll be coming?"  
  
Ayako turned silent for a moment. "Why?"  
  
"I just don't think I can…It'll be hard, people'll be crying over him that time. I don't think I'll manage to survive the pressure."  
  
"But it'll be the last time you'll see him before he's buried."  
  
"I know, Sempai… But I…"  
  
Ayako stood up and patted his head. "Well, Rukawa… Think again, if that is what you feel then don't. I just want to remind you. I'll see you there, if you'll be coming, though…" She smiled for the last time and left the house.  
  
***  
  
It's 12.56 pm already, and the funeral will start at 1. Will he come or will he not? Guess not… But I feel like I need to come, otherwise I'll feel guilty.  
  
Rukawa was sitting on a balcony, his eyes were blank. He paid no attention to the snow flakes that had been drifting before his very eyes. He was too busy thinking. Then a voice woke him up from deep thoughts.  
  
"Oi, Kitsune!!" Rukawa stretched his neck and looked down. It was Sakuragi, all dressed in a dark tan shirt, a black shirt and pants. "Will you be coming to Smiley's funeral? Come on! It's getting late."  
  
"Sakuragi Hanamichi…" Rukawa didn't move to change his clothes, instead he just sat there and watched him. "I don't think I'll be coming…"  
  
"Of course you will, what do you mean you wont?! It's like disrespecting him!"  
  
"But I don't think my mental is strong enough to attend… I'll break down and cry like a baby there…"  
  
Hanamichi smiled. "Let it be your last… Cry all as you want there, and smile when you leave. You'll know how relieved you'll be after that. Trust me, Rukawa!"  
  
"Okay… wait for me…" Rukawa rushed to his room to change his clothes and go with Sakuragi to the funeral. Inside his room, while changing, he smiled in comfort. He trusted Sakuragi, they're friends. "That's right… I can cry there… Everybody will… Then after that, I'll feel refreshed, there'll be no more worries… I don't have to cry anymore after that."  
  
"Arigatou, Hanamichi… I'm glad I have a friend like you… I knew I'll always need you…"  
  
  
  
a.n :: okay… this chap kinda sound dumb and uneeded . It sounded so… what… so… crappy, I know… . Neways, Rukawa's parent's coming back!!!! Can you imagine how happy he'll feel… And there'll be a surprise :)! Read on to the next chapter to follow on… 


	15. story of us, still written in the heart

--part 15--  
  
Story of us, still written in the heart  
  
Sakuragi Hanamichi walked along with Rukawa Kaede, leaving footprints in the white layers of snow covering the road. They were heading to Sendoh Akira's funeral, last moments to take a glance of the former superstar highschool basketball player. He died, just about a day ago, suffering from a heart disease. As they had noted, they were late for the ceremony. Besides it takes about an hour or so from Rukawa's residence to reach the cemetery.  
  
By the time they had reached the graveyard, people, all dressed in dark and black clothes gathered around. It looked so ironic, the snow had been falling, the city is white. Yet today here there were so many people in dark apparels, grieving for have losing one of their loved ones. Rukawa met some familiar faces as all of his team mates. Eventually, most of the Kanagawa basketball players were here.  
  
"So, Rukawa-kun… You did came anyway, didn't you?" Ayako patted his shoulder, since she can't reach his head without standing on her toe. He only nodded and made his way into the mass.  
  
In the middle there was a coffin, it was half closed. Rukawa walked slowly and approached it. There layed Sendoh, his face was pale as snow, his lips were white. He looked so peaceful, and so bliss. For the last time Rukawa reached out his hands and touched his cheek gently, then to his nose, forehead and his nose. Then finally he ran his thumbs lightly upon the smile arched on his lips. He had been smiling, ever since the first day they met. And now he's still smiling in the end. Rukawa then bent down and kissed Sendoh's forehead and then smiled.  
  
From his back, Sakuragi walked over and bent down to take a closer look at him. "Can't believe he's still smiling to his very end, and look! He's not in his usual spiked-hair today!"  
  
Rukawa chuckled lightly and looked back to take his very last look at the person whom he loved most before they closed the coffin. Soon after that the ceremony began, people started to weep. The priest read out a few verses from the Bible and gave a blessing upon him, and then his coffin were buried.  
  
Tears ran down through his cheek. It's beyond his control, he couldn't hold back. The atmosphere was so gloomy. Every person you see is crying, or at least they got red and watery eyes. He looked at Sakuragi, he was bawling like a baby. Amazingly, Rukawa Kaede didn't feel sad at all. It wasn't because that he was heartless and disliked Sendoh or anything, it's just that he felt so very warm. He felt Sendoh's existence near him. That's why he felt so calm and soothed.  
  
Haruko, who was standing in front of Rukawa turned to look at him. "Rukawa- kun… You don't look sad… Why are you smiling?" She was carrying a handkerchief on her hand to help her wipe the tears that had been overflowing from her eyes.  
  
"I don't know… I just don't feel like sad… Instead, I was glad…" Simply, he answered back at her questions.  
  
"Aa! Kitsune you are so mean…!! You had pretended to be sad all the time but you actually wanted him to die, didn't you… I never knew you're such a good actor!! Kitsune, you got me once this time…" Hanamichi exclaimed out loud, and almost disturbed the burial.  
  
"No… It's not that… I'm glad for him because he now is free from those pain that he suffered all the time. And besides… Even though he's dead, I still feel like he's all around me… I can feel his warmth near me…"  
  
Haruko tried to smile, even though she's still sobbing hard. "Rukawa-kun… Death means separation for the spirit from the body. He's not totally gone, his spirit will still be with you...," she pointed her small and slim fingers to Rukawa's chest, "in your heart… forever…"  
  
An ample smile was tinted on his lips. He kept her phrase remembered in his head. It meant something, and she was right. With that now he felt easy, his heart no longer throbbs anymore. "Haruko-san… Arigato…" He brushed her hair lightly, making her to blush and fly in happiness.  
  
It was over, the ritual was over, people started to leave. "Rukawa, you're not going?" Rukawa only shook his head. "Well then, I'll be leaving now…" And Hanamichi went off, along with Akagi and Miyagi.  
  
When everybody has left, Rukawa made his way to the grave. He looked down on the stone with the name of his friend carved on it. "Akira… Did you know? I felt happy now… Even though you're gone, you're still in my heart… And I feel happy for you too… I bet you can do whatever you want right now… I heard spirits can fly like birds in the sky up high. Is it true? I would like to hear from you someday…" Rukawa knelt down and touched the gravestone. "Akira… I've learned so much from you. You teached me how to open my heart, and I did… Now I got myself a friend, I made Hanamichi a friend… I won't be alone from now… I'll have you, him, and guess what? My parents are coming back, after such a long time. I'm glad, I'm so overflowed with delight… I can't wait to see them again. How would they look? I mean, there must be changes after 7 years… Anyway, Akira… I wish you could still be here, we can share stories. But I know we still can… Akira if you're in heaven, you would still know who I am, right? We'll have so much to catch on later that day. I longed to for the day I'll see you again. Therefore, Akira… Wait for me in heaven. And now I got to go, my friend."  
  
Rukawa stood up and smiled at the grave. "Akira… Arigato…" Then he left, back to his house. He got some cleaning to do, especially on the kitchen. He didn't want his parents to look at the mess he've caused. It's terrible, it's a nasty view.  
  
He decided to take the long path to his house, rather than the usual route he used to took. He wanted to look at the world, and study the things he had missed. From now on, he'll promise to be a better man, and keep on improving on himself. "Kirei… The world is so beautiful, how come I haven't noticed them all these years."  
  
After taking a few glimpse of a few of the Kanagawa prefecture, he reached his house, feeling a little bit numb on his feet. Strangely he found some footsteps printed on the thick layers of snow, and it headed towards his house. Filled with curiosity, he entered the house without making a sound. Beyond the door, there were 2 pairs of shoes for both of the genders. Who could it be? His parents?  
  
Rukawa's heart beated faster, and in his mind, he hoped and prayed that he will find his father and mother. He took a few steps and emerged into the living room.  
  
"Kaede-chan?? I can't believe you have left all this mess in the kitchen?" A lady's voice called for him. Rukawa turned his back, and on the couch, his long-lost parents were there in his sight, smiling in happiness. They had grown a few more wrinkles on their face, and in his mom's arms, layed a child, perhaps almost 2 years old, sleeping in her laps. She then stood up and carefully placed the boy's head onto the leather-covered sofa. His father stood up too and come near to his son, who had grown so much.  
  
Rukawa spread his arms wide, and welcomed them in his embrace. He found himself crying in joy. "Ka-san, To-san… I missed you so much… I thought you'll never come back." His arms wrapped tight around them. He felt as if he was in paradise. Happiness that had slowly depart from him were coming back into his life. "I thought I'll never see you again… Ever again…"  
  
His mom hushed him down. "Kaede-chan… I never thought the three of us meet together again as a family… Ka-san and To-san thought we're getting ourselves divorced…"  
  
"I thought I'll lose the place to be your father, Kaede… But then we settled our fights and get back along…" Father continued Mom's unfinished sentence.  
  
The three shared their tears together. They were happy to be able to see each other again as a family, just when they thought they were breaking apart from another. Then from the sofa, the little child was awaked because of the cries and sobs that they made. "Ka-chan…"  
  
Everybody's attention turned to the little boy, who was walking towards them. Rukawa knelt and lightly tapped the little boy's head and messed the hair around a bit. "Kawaii… Who's this boy, Ka-san, To-san?"  
  
"Kaede… From now on he'll be your new younger brother. We gave birth to him in Venice, after our quarrels were done."  
  
Ka-san walked over and touched Rukawa's back. "Kaede-chan… You'll now have the privilege to name the boy, we hadn't call given him a proper name, all we did was call him Kei."  
  
What? He doesn't have any name yet? It looks like he's two years old already, and still he doesn't have a proper name? What a poor child (^^;). "Ka-san, To-san… How bout Akira?"  
  
After a short thought, they agreed. "Akira sounds fine… Okay!"  
  
Rukawa stared into the boy's tiny eyes. It was blue, like his. It was funny, Akira really looked like his older brother. They both were like twins, especially since their hairstyle were quite similar. "By the way, Kaede-chan… How did you get the name Akira?" Asked his mother.  
  
Rukawa carefully placed his new brother on his back and stood up. "Well, Ka- san.. It's a long story, a long story of us…"  
  
She was confused about her son's answer. Well, she decided to give up thinking about it and rushed to the kitchen. "My oh my, Kaede… Help me clean up this mess…! It's horrible..!"  
  
Rukawa laughed, Akira still clingin upon his back. "Wait, Ka-san… I'm going to take Akira down to the beach and for a little walk."  
  
"Okay then, honey… Take care of him, will you?"  
  
Rukawa smiled and left his house. He met with Sakuragi on his way out, and he find him shocked. "Kitsune? Who's that little boy you're carrying on your back? Your neighbor?!"  
  
The shohoku ace only laughed. "Well, Hanamichi… It's my brother, Akira…"  
  
"Akira??!?!"  
  
"Yeah…"  
  
"How in the world did you get yourself a two-year old kid as a brother…? I bet it's just a little boy you borrowed from your neighbor!"  
  
Still, he went on laughing. "Hanamichi, it's our long long story…"  
  
"Huh? Your story?"  
  
"Yeah… the Story of us… Hey? Mind to join us?" Hanamichi then followed them for a walk around the sidewalks. Rukawa was now a different man, different than the way he was before. The ice king had melt, now had turn to a happy and gentle man. But his thought about Sendoh hadn't fade away though. Even though he looked back on the memories that he've spent with him, he looked at it with a smile on his face as a part of his foundation that had made him the person now.  
  
Time passes, the world changes  
  
But I'm still the same ole' kid  
  
And your jokes still bring me laughter  
  
As if you still were here  
  
And it hurts  
  
When I smile  
  
'Cause my heart still remembers  
  
When you were around  
  
'Cause you were there  
  
When no one was  
  
Just when I thought nobody cared  
  
You showed me love  
  
'Cause you were my friend  
  
You always told me  
  
And I am still here  
  
Because you were there  
  
So precious, small treasures  
  
A time when truth was innocent  
  
True friendship, was all we were after  
  
A place where kids could still be kids  
  
And it hurts  
  
But I'm glad  
  
'Cause at least I was blessed  
  
To have you as my friend  
  
'Cause you were there  
  
When no one was  
  
Just when I thought nobody cared  
  
You showed me love  
  
'Cause you were my friend  
  
You always told me  
  
And I am still here  
  
Because you were there  
  
You're my best friend  
  
And there are no accidents  
  
God has a pland for everyone  
  
And he brought you in my life  
  
To show me what a true friend was  
  
'Cause you were there  
  
When no one was  
  
Just when I thought nobody cared  
  
You showed me love  
  
'Cause you were my friend  
  
You always told me  
  
And I am still here  
  
Because you were there  
  
As I look back, I'll see the path that I had walked on. It's strange to think, I've changed so much in a small period of time. It's your existence that had caused a great impact in my life, Sendoh, it's you… No matter how bitter the memories we've passed together are, but when I looked back and think through it, I'll find myself smiling… Smiling over the story of us, written in the depths of our heart…  
  
Akira… once more… Thank you…  
  
  
  
a.n :: [I added a little song ^_^] wow…..!!!!! IT'S FINALY DONE!!! I'm so touched… I listened to the song called gaining through losing by ken hirai, I was startled!!!! It fitss the ending scene, so so very very much…!! XD~~ I'm so happy… even though the whole story were still rough and unedited, I'm so happyy~!! Feels like I wanted to cry… especially when I hear the song… aaah… anyway, enough of unesseccary talks!! Minna… thank you so much for had reading this patheticcccc pathetic story, I apologize for the poor grammar and language, I'm not a native speaker :(… anyway, I'll love to hear your comments about the story, and how I should change the story around a bit… thank u thank u so much, minna~~!! Love you alls… :) 


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